Reflections of a Jiujiteiro: alive

A former battle buddy asked me about competing this past week. This is a man I went to combat with, who served as my Platoon Sergeant, when I was a year in the Army as an Infantry Rifle Platoon Leader. His primary role as the senior enlisted advisor was to validate our approach in everything we did and ensure the risks were mitigated and the plan was sound.

I knew it all back then… seize, clear, hold, and build was the strategy. The surge was real, and my testosterone couldn’t outpace my ego during those times. It must be why fortune favors the young and the bold, according to Niccolo Machiavelli. Back to the conversation at hand…

My response to my old friend was brief – “Yes, compete!” One thing holds true, you will not utterly understand what you’re capable of if you do not test yourself; and not only is it good to learn these lessons about yourself, but it’s equally important to be able to help others through the process later. This reflection, however, is not about competing, but more so about shifting focus to self-actualization using the ALIVE model and become our best selves for our teammates and the ones we love.

ALIVE

The ALIVE concept, which is an acronym for Active, Loyal, Invested, Viral, and Empathetic, is a coaching model developed by Lance Loya, author of “The WE Gear: How Good Teammates Shift from ME to WE”, to become a better teammate. One thing we learn over time is how we’re unable to force others to see our perspective, or make them do what we tell them.

Here’s a quick elevator spiel to best understand the ALIVE construct. Be in the moment, looking for opportunities to improve yourself; treat your team like family; allocate resources to better refine your skills in your craft; share your lessons, successes and failures, with your teammates to help them improve; and error on the side of your teammates best intentions when things are not going as planned. The beauty of this model is you can continue to improve yourself on a daily basis by focusing on the little things. A selfless act is contagious, and it will inspire goodness in the rest of your teammates and family members.

Selfishness sinks ships: friendships, partnerships, relationships, championships, even leaderships. Like an iceberg tearing through the hull of an ocean liner, selfishness will inevitably send all of those ships plummeting to the depths of the abyss. Selfishness sinks ships.” ~Lance Loya

Loya, Lance. 2019. The We Gear: How Good Teammates Shift from ME to WE. U.S.: Cager Haus.
 

From Plan to Execution

New year, new me has been in full swing since we kicked off 2021. I knocked out two books on self-development and coaching, Claudia has been killing it in the real estate game, and the kids have been getting after their academics and training on the mats. COVID is still keeping a tight grip on social behavior in Germany, or lack their of, but we are not letting it get in our ways.

Dominic and Brianna have both earned their third stripes, today, and they worked hard for them. Their curriculum is based on a twice a week model, with eligibility for testing after three months. Discipline is the central theme for their training and the goal is to show our children that things earned are more valuable than things given. These golden nuggets of quality time also help to instill the value of team work into Dominic and Brianna.

Teamwork might make the dream work, but teammates make the team work. ~Lance Loya

Ibid.

Abstract Thought

Everything digested from the recommended literature for life coaching has shifted my mental paradigm from structure to freedom of expression. I’ve noticed in my last few training sessions with Claudia, the more task oriented I am, the less fun I have in our training. This is prevalent in both our training as well as in our kids training class. Flow is the objective I intend to achieve moving forward with my development model.

 The one thing that can never be taken away from you is your mind, and your freedom to think, dream, and create.” ~Viktor Frankl

Diane S. Menendez, Patrick Williams. 2015. Becoming a Professional Life Coach: Lessons from the Institute for Life Coach Training. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
 

My hypothesis is the more personalized the training session, the better experience we will have holistically. Do not misunderstand me, there will be a structure around the training regimen, but instead of going into the training session with a checklist and rigid oversight, I intend to start focusing on adaptation of concepts and self-expression. It’s time to enjoy the journey and disengage focus on the destination, because these precious family moments have a short shelf-life. Until next reflection my friends – – One Team, One Family! ~Doc