I was recently asked what do I do to alleviate stress? The obvious answer as a jiujiteiro is hitting the mats and letting carnage ensue. Yes, this is one of the best stress release methods I have, but I also have the pen. I love to write, this blog being a good example of my enthusiasm for the written word, because I love telling my story, my family’s story, and the story of great examples of hard work and perseverance. I heard the song “Wrote My Way Out”, by Nas, Dave East, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Aloe Blacc, on my Focus Radio station on Pandora, the lyrics that caught me were:
Y’all, I caught my first beatin’ from the other kids when I was caught readin’. ‘Oh, you think you smart? Blah! Start bleedin”. My pops tried in vain to get me to fight back, Sister tapped my brains, said, pssh, you’ll get ’em right back. Oversensitive, defenseless, I made sense of it, I pencil in The lengths to which I’d go to learn my strengths and knock ’em senseless. These sentences are endless, so what if they leave me friendless?”
Lin-Manuel Miranda, Verse 3, Hamilton –“Wrote My Way Out”, https://youtu.be/NXQvCNAV8Ro
I recall the lesson my Old Man taught me about bullying. He told me, “You know the irony of life is the kid that’s getting bullied in school is often times could very well be the authority over his abuser in the future.” Now this is not a piece on bullying, but how harsh reality can be at times when we’re #adulting. I remember the moment I realized I transitioned into adulthood. It wasn’t when I graduated high-school, it wasn’t when I started college, it wasn’t even when I became old enough to drink. It was the first couple of days in Initial Entry Training (Boot Camp), when I enlisted in the U.S. Army.
I was around 19-years old at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri and I made the decision to go to Basic Training in addition to being a Cadet in the Army Reserve Officer Training Corps during college. This was significant because it was the first time I knew my mom or dad couldn’t get me out of my decision. Now there are a number of ways to skate out of military service when you peal back the onion, but those were not options and accepting there was no turning back was the first step to the nearly 18-years of service I have now.
Spirituality
My latest literary journey brought to “Spirituality for Bad Asses”, by J. Stewart Dixon, which was a fun read to say the least. He replaces religious overtones with mindfulness, hence the focus on awareness.
I am not saying anything positive or negative against religion. I am simply offering insight on an alternative perspective on faith. I remember a line in the movie “Kingdom of Heaven” in a dialogue between Orlando Bloom’s character and the priest before the English embarked on a religious crusade in the name of God. The priest made a statement, “Faith brings you closer to God, whereas religion is made by man.” In response the Blacksmith asked the priest, “Will you go with them”. The priest replied, “A shepherd stays with his flock.”
My intent is not to create the great debate between church and state. My goal is to encourage everyone to find ways to increase resilience through exercising the spiritual muscle because it directly contributes to mental and emotional well-being. Dixon suggests awareness is the enemy of ego, and by investing into mindfulness we can achieve self-actualization and better focus on our future goals.
Spiritual Badass Warriors … do battle with existential distraction. Existential distraction subtly and profoundly hardwired into the root structures of the ego-mind personality is the glue which holds the illusion of the separate ego I you together.” ~J. Stewart Dixon
Spirituality for Badasses, J. Stewart Dixon, April 20, 2021, Amazon Publishing.
Next Gen
There are more reasons than one to improve our personal well-being holistically. Being a good example for the next generation is at the forefront of reasons why I continue to focus on self-improvement. Stressors and challenges are affecting our youth at even younger ages due to technology, especially social media.
This year, both Dominic and Brianna have recently found hobbies outside of Jiu-jitsu. Dominic is starting his journey as a soccer player, whereas Brianna is becoming our very own prima ballerina. I have no doubt there early exposure to martial arts has contributed to their abilities to follow on with the group during class and practice. However, they still face hard lessons that come with learning a skill or taking on a competitive sport.
After Dominic’s last game, he told me something that surprised me because of the comments level of maturity. Mind you, the 4-6 year-old games do not keep score, but if they did it probably would’ve been 0-16, if I was keeping count. Dominic said, “Daddy, some of the kids on the other team were saying mean things about my team, but I’m not going to let that stuff get in my brain.”
As parents, we want nothing but the best for our children. We want them to hit the field, courts, and mats, and come back with the gold, or game winning shot. Trust me, no one is immune to this yearning for your child’s victories. I have caught myself stopping mid-sentence several times from making statements which detract from teamwork and sportsmanship. However, let’s remember why we are putting our kids in programs in the first place. We want them to socialize and we want them to thrive. They have to face failure, they have to understand that the players on the other team are no enemies, and they have to understand the best part of the game is walking away knowing they have done their best regardless of the outcome. The lessons learned at the heart of experiencing both victory and defeat are those that contribute to strong character, commitment, and resolve. Until next insight, Family and Friends. One Team, One Family!
You will never ever be successful, until you turn your pain into greatness, until you allow your pain to push you from where you are to push you where you need to be. Stop running from your pain and embrace your pain. Your pain is going to be a part of your prize, a part of your product. I challenge you to push yourself.” ~ Dr. Eric Thomas, The Hip-hop Preacher
https://quotefancy.com/eric-thomas-quotes
