When it really comes down to it, the only thing we have in this world is our knowledge and our word. Both take a long time to build and both are key attributes of our reputations in society. Your word, however, is the most critical component to your credibility and is the easiest to compromise.
Without integrity and honor, having everything means nothing.” ~Robin Sharma
The most important lesson I learned from my father growing up was about honor. No, my father wasn’t the most pious man, nor did he give us formal blocks of instruction on ethics, but his example and his reputation was the gold standard in the eyes of our family, his peers in the police department, and his friends. It’s the same lesson I intend to prioritize to my children as I help them walk down their own paths.
Inspiration
The motivation for this reflection’s theme, character, is due to my experience being a member on a military courts martial panel this past week. I will not disclose the details of the case, but I’d like to talk about what happens when a decision of guilty or not guilty has to be made solely on the word of a witness’ testimony. This is where character comes into play, and if you don’t think it’s that important, you’re sadly mistaken.
For those of you who have ever done your civic duty, you can attest the huge burden that lies on the prosecutions shoulders to prove the guilt of the accused. To find an individual guilty it has to be proved beyond a reasonable doubt that the accused committed the wrongful act. A juror must be able to deduce this from the evidence provided, which includes witness testimony, which can be further subjected to a character analysis, being truthful or untruthful.
The law holds that it is better that 10 guilty persons escape, than that 1 innocent suffer.” ~Vidar Halvorsen, Criminal Justice Ethics, Volume:23 Issue:2
Honor
I remember when I was a kid my old man used to tell me if you borrow money from someone, the first thing you do is pay them back when you’re able. Credit is the gift that keeps on giving… right! Honor goes far deeper than balancing your credit card debt, it is a way to determine if your investment of time and resources into an individual will have a positive return on investment. Meaning, if I’m an honorable person I would be careful in dealing with individuals or organizations that are not, because it may negatively impact my reputation and credibility. In turn, I’d want to preserve my reputation as honorable because I’d want build relationships that may be mutually beneficial in the future as well.
Do what you say you will do.” ~Dr. Corey Dobbs, Ed.D., Leadership Principle #1, The Real Athlete Blog
It doesn’t matter how much money you make, or what position you have, you will always be judged by your actions daily. Taking shortcuts and failing to come through on commitments made time and time again will surely work to your disadvantage. Even if you try to make-up your shortcomings by way of grand gesture it will not repair the damage to your name. However, if you’re known for keeping your promises those that know you are way more willing to forgive when you come up short at times. We’re imperfect beings, but falling short on your word should be the exception, not the rule.
Integrity
An example that stuck with me when I was in high school was the day my dad and I went to pick up my letterman jacket from the pro-shop. The owner of the store added the name embroidery and letters to the jacket, which seemed to be a bigger deal to my dad than me at the time. My dad wanted me to have all the things he didn’t during his high school years and in hindsight I wish I was a more understanding of the coming of age experience than I was at the time.
When the owner presented the jacket to us with all the letter and stitching complete my old man was more than happy to give him his credit card to pay the man. The shop was a staple of the community and pretty much the only show within the radius of convenience to get the work done, but unfortunately he did not take credit. My father apologized, while looking mildly defeated, and told the gentleman we would pick it up the next time we had a chance.
The shop owner, with a laid back way about him, replied – take it. My dad, in disbelief, asked him if he was sure. The gentleman said I’m sure you’ll get the money to me when you can. He expressed he was not too worried if people tried to get over on him. He said that wasn’t going to stop him from being kind to others. I can tell that my dad’s faith in humanity was reborn at that moment.
It seemed we all learned a lesson that day because as soon as we left the store my old man turned to me, with the most serious look I’ve ever seen in his face, and said we’re going to the ATM and I’m going to give you the money to give to that man tomorrow. My dad also said something to the effect that he didn’t care if a natural disaster struck, I would get that man his money as soon as possible. I acknowledged the importance of my mission and was sure to pay that man every red cent the next day.
Integrity is a life where your beliefs and intentions are aligned with your words and actions.” ~Stephen Lovegrove
The Mats Don’t Lie
The beauty of combat sports is that you can’t hide from your true self. You’re either prepared for your match, or you’re not. You’re either a known participant in class, or you’re not; and you’re either a good sport and teammate, or you’re not. The proof is in your work ethic and your consideration for others on your team. The same truth is often displayed in most professions. A profession is an practitioner in a values-based organization. If your company, or organization has a code of ethics, or values system you’re required to adhere to, then you’re a professional.
I’ve been fortunate to have experience on both sides of the fence, being an avid jiu-jitsu practitioner and a military professional. Both experiences have contributed greatly in making me a person of strong character prepared to pass my lessons learned down to my children as they come across those Hard Right Avenue, or Easy Wrong Drive crossroads down the road. Life is a full-contact sport and their will be times when someone may need to vouch for your character, so understand “your word is your bond,” according to Matthew 5:33-37… it’s even biblical! Until next week team, keep it classy. One team, one family!
