My son, Dominic, looks up at me and asks, “Is it Kids Jiu-jitsu class today?” I respond, “Yes, go get dressed.” The whaling cries of … “No, I just want to play with my friends,” echoes throughout our home, and I’m sure for the neighbors to hear a few houses down. Training is not optional in this household and it is part of the routine to serve a greater purpose. I told Dominic and Brianna during practice, “a true measure of strength is your ability to do what you have to when you do not want to do it.” Their discomfort now is ultimately the sacrifice they will make for their future success.
The past couple of weeks have been extremely educational. The latest read: “Do It Scared”, by Ruth Soukup, has given me a great perspective on keeping the life goals large and leading. Self awareness and being honest about your strengths and weaknesses are paramount to getting after your dreams. Shooting for the moon, however, doesn’t take the difficulty out of the process, but helps you attack the objective like scientist.
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” ~Pablo Picasso
Soukup, Ruth. 2019. Excerpt from Doing It Scared. Zondervan Publishing. Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Mental Traps
Soukup suggests there are several different personality traits that hinder personal growth and foster limiting beliefs to goal attainment such as being a: Procrastinator, Rule Follower, People Pleaser, Outcast, Self-Doubter, Excuse maker, and Pessimist. These classifications are not permanent, nor are the for anyone else to label you. These are common mental frameworks that could be self-imposed obstacles in our subconscious.
Self-realization is a hard lesson to learn because the spectrum is so wide. Overconfidence can lead to arrogance and self-consciousness can lead to self-doubt and ultimately depression. However, understanding your own intrinsic personality traits by way of a Meyers Briggs personality test can go a long way with turning your dreams into reality. A strong work ethic, complimented by a positive perspective and perseverance, will make you invincible.
Self-knowledge involves relationship. To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person. Relationship is a process of of self-evaluation and self-revelation. Relationship is the mirror in which you discover yourself – to be is to be related.” ~Bruce lee
Lee, Shannon. 2020. Excerpt from Be Water My Friend: The True Teachings of Bruce Lee. MacMillan Publishers. New York.
Mentor
A friend of mine posted on social media a while back asking if anyone out there had advice about dealing with anxiety. He communicated that he has been feeling uneasy on things going on his life even though everything is fine. He stated it was as if he was searching for things to be off just to gain peace of mind. As a kindred spirit, I can relate and empathize with his situation.
We traded messages and I informed him that anxiety is a trait often found in high-performers. The feeling of restlessness, and at times feeling dissatisfied, is what drives performers to start producing and achieving. I recommended to my friend to take on different techniques to address his restlessness that fell into the holistic-wellness model, albeit mental, physical, and spiritual.
After a long and productive conversation there were two tactics that seemed like viable options to help my buddy find his Zen. He agreed that something competitive, such as a combat sport, would be a good hobby to pursue for his mental fitness, but another we discussed was being a mentor to someone. To bring us back to my intro paragraph, I coach my wife and kids in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu regularly. Passing on the knowledge I’ve learned to others is not solely an external service. The benefits I reap from being able to give my family a skill is mutually beneficial.
A good coach can change a game, a great coach can change a life.” ~John Wooden
https://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/coaching-quotes-and-sayings/
I will always be grateful for the opportunities to teach coach and mentor, both professionally and personally, and I am lucky to know where I want to be years from now after my military service is complete. No matter where my family will be, I know I want to be in their corners helping them and those in our community to help achieve their goals. With each day that passes, more and more opportunity grows for our society and I find myself fortunate to have skills to be used for the betterment of others. The best thing you can do for your own well-being is help others. Until next time… One Team, One Family! ~Doc
For it is in the giving that we receive.” ~St. Francis of Assisi
Pogosyan, Marrianna. Excerpt from In Helping Others, You Help Yourself, Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/between-cultures/201805/in-helping-others-you-help-yourself. (May, 2018)
