“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” ~T.S. Eliot
Disclaimer up front, if you thought you were going to get a hunter-fisherman fix clicking on this reflection, I apologize in advance. The theme of this week’s reflection is centric around the number of events going on in our lives as I type. There are a lot of unknowns which may have a pretty big impact on my family in the coming months. I am far from a man of mystery, but all I can tell you is stay tuned to the next reflection and you will see what’s on the docket for the Clas Clan this fall.
Addicted to Progress
This past week I caught word on a target of opportunity for a highly-competitive assignment opening up in the future. I’m very happy with my current assignment, but I’m also very comfortable, and that’s the problem. I’ve always felt overwhelmed in my career. To be honest, there have been many times in my current capacity I have been challenged as well. However, one of the few addictions I have is progression. I am afraid one day my kids will ask me advice on something personal, professional, or moral even; and the advice I would be inclined to give would be advice I did not follow myself. For this reason, I am going for something a little more high-speed. I will definitely keep everyone posted as I learn more about my family’s future adventures.
Validated learning is the process of demonstrating empirically a rigorous method for demonstrating progress when one is embedded in the soil of extreme uncertainty.” ~Eric Ries, “The Lean Startup”
I remember a scene in the cult-classic movie Fight Club, when Tyler Durden, the antagonist played by Brad Pitt, made the comment, “maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer.” My interpretation of this is to get out of the comfort zone. The monotonous daily routine ending with the same regularly scheduled programs, video games, or vices that does not provide immediate feedback to application is likely not the best routine to have. However, if your routine is leading to a culminating event, such as a marathon, or even Chess championship, you will expose yourself to that beautiful feeling of euphoria that comes with accomplishing a goal, being a contender in something bigger than yourself. Those experiences form your character and resolve to face the unknown on a routine basis.
The Unknown
A few weeks ago, we started Dominic on medication to assist with his Attention-Deficit Disorder (ADD). Claudia and I did not make this decision lightly. We did a lot of research on the side-effects linked to the medication and weighed the pros and cons of taking this route. We made an informed decision to have Dominic try out this medication during school. It has only been a few weeks, however, I feel obligated to mark this moment in time because I know there are many people out there who have different opinions about how to handle children diagnosed with ADD.
I am fairly certain my son’s genetics do not fall far from his father’s family tree. I’ve struggled throughout my academic career on many occasions, have been on academic probation, have received Ds and Fs and have muscled through coursework that was often a breeze for my peers. Today, I often use a fidget spinner to get through professional reading and lean more toward audio book series to give me a competitive edge because getting through 10 pages of a paperback will put me in dreamland. Or, I will have to re-read the literature because of the – “Squirrel!”, scenario.
The experiences in my life associated with this challenge has broken my confidence, brought me to shame, and has scared me out of competing for things I’ve wanted to do because I felt I wasn’t good enough in the past. Do not get me wrong, I am lightyears away from the person I was in high-school and grammar school. During my undergrad there was a seasoned non-commissioned officer who helped me through my lowest moment during my undergrad.
Our inner struggles – our ‘dragons’ – can be both the source of our trauma and our opportunity to grow from it. To defeat our dragons, we must discipline our ego, and that discipline will benefit us as individuals as well as our community in both the short and long term.” ~Courtesy of Mission22.com
At the end of my freshman year of college I was way behind glide-path to graduate in four years, and if I didn’t figure it out I was going to be dropped from the Reserve Officer Training Corps which was paying for my tuition. This person sat with me for three hours to help me generate an academic plan, summers included, to get me in the cap and gown and the lucrative gold bar on my shoulders. After my lengthy counseling session with Sgt. 1st Class David Jurkovic, huge shoutout to this man, I felt obligated to graduate because I felt I owed him. This was the thought process which has brought me this far.
Claudia asked me when Dominic was first diagnosed with ADD, a year ago, how I coped with mine and persevered? I couldn’t think of a good answer at the time. However, now I think it’s because I accepted that I have a debt to pay. It’s a debt I owe to my wife, kids, mother, father, extended family, and ancestors. This is what motivates me and the grit and work ethic I inherited has helped me push myself beyond my expectations. I will now take my role as Virgil did in Dante’s Inferno. I will do my best to guide my children and ensure they know they have support and can build confidence in their abilities. That is my charge, it’s my purpose. One team, one family! ~Doc