The only person you can control is you. So focus on making yourself who you want to be.” ~Jocko Willink
Apologies in advance for those of you who thought this reflection was, in any way, related to the college basketball brackets. however, March is a very symbolic time for me. March 1st marks the anniversary of when my father gained custody of my brother and me when we were young lads. The term normal often has no place as an adjective describing family dynamics as my wife and I have learned in our upbringings. However, my upbringing has given me the lessons I’ve needed to prioritize the most important family value … togetherness.
The Month of Madness:
This month has been a beast. I came up short on a few projects at work; and learned how a vehicle is much more of a liability instead of an asset. If character is gained by pushing through these difficult moments I can say that I’m up to my ears in the stuff. The beauty of these life beatings that I’ve been taking this month, in reflection, have been the moments I pulled myself out of the slumps and looked at my life.
There were moments this month I paused, took around five deep breaths, and looked at each one of my family members. My wife, Claudia, who has been doing amazing things for our family business, Class Capital Investing; my daughter, Brianna, who earned her fourth red stripe on her belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and has been thriving in cheerleading, dance, and tumbling as well; and my son, Dominic, who just celebrated his eighth birthday and started the indoor soccer season with the “Wolfpack”. I am also grateful to be active in each of their lives whether it’s on the mats, on the field, or in the studio, I appreciate our time together.
Being a 40-years old dad with two young kids helps me understand why it takes two make things go right. Claudia and I thrive as parents because we are always in each others corner; and we thrive professionally because we are each others outlet. We know what it’s like to put in work. That’s not hard, but more importantly we both understand that we need each other. This is not co-dependence, it’s interdependence. It’s the understanding that each if us has our role to play to keep the team on the right track to success. If we don’t play our parts to the best of our potential things will fall apart. However, when we are in the flow, we are like the 90s Chicago Bulls, knocking down targets and slaying dragons.
Professionally Speaking:
I continue to learn the social dynamics in my current organization. In short, you need to be able to operate within the parameters of the box before you can think outside of the metaphorical container. I’ve taken a few on the chin this month and I’m not going to lie, it weighs on me. Not because of it holding me back in my career, or, because I want everyone to like me; but because I know my worth.
I know I can do better and that I am where I am for a reason. During these low moments the best advice I can share, which helped me through, is to ” be a goldfish”. I picked this up from the series Ted Lasso, about an American football coach who travels to London to be a soccer coach for a regional club. This philosophy asks the life player to forget about shortcoming of the day and to keep moving forward. Easy, no, doable, yes!
A Champion’s Mindset:
There are so many professionals in this world who come up short on a regular basis. The reason why they are able to overcome these setbacks is because they keep their eyes on the next opportunity. It’s like in the movie Rocky Balboa when Rocky was talking to his son and said…”it’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward”.
I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~Michael Jordan
It’s at this point where I’d also highlight my teammates at ZR Team, North Carolina, who competed at the Pan American Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Championships during the week of March 22-27, 2023. ZR Team had an amazing showing during Pan Ams and the athletes will tell you they put in the work and left it all on the mats. Win or lose it’s the process that makes us great, the hardware is the icing on the cake. There is a next time, just believe.
Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do, is who you become.” ~Heraclitus
On to the Next:
So here I am, ready for the next round. I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and I’m back on the horse. Not sure how the next part of the journey will go, but as long as I know who’s in my corner and what I want to achieve, there is no stopping this train. I owe it to my family to keep pushing the ball forward. Resilience is contagious and if there is anything I want my kids to learn from me is they are the only ones who can hold themselves back. Until next reflection friends – One Team, One Family! ~Doc