What’s the meaning of life? Why are we here? These are some heavy questions to introduce in a blog post, I know, but when is the best time to find your purpose?
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Dr. Viktor Frankl
This past week I’ve had several experiences which helped me focus this week’s reflection. Memorial Day, a time to remember our fallen heroes and thank them for their sacrifice, was the first one.
Facing Mortality
This Memorial Day, like the many others which have past, I shared a photo of the unit memorial dedicated to the members of my unit who paid the Ultimate Sacrifice in Iraq during our 2006-07 deployment. For some reason their was a gnawing feeling which affected me the entire day and I couldn’t put my finger on it, and it took me a while to share the memorial image this year than it has in the past. After a couple of days, I began to realize this has been the first year I spent this day with my family with no other obligations to run to since my kids were born.
Why is this significant? The only answer I can give is the time I spent in Iraq during those early years of my career only impacted my wife and I. Sure, we had our issues when I returned, but the experiences I had overseas, if some of them played out a different way, would not have left my kids without a father. There’s the rub… the names on that wall of heroes means so much more to me now, not because of age, but because of the circumstance.
Everything in life makes sense the first time you hold your newborn child. It’s almost as if you never knew what love was until you have seen yourself in their eyes. I am more grateful now, than ever, that I made it back home. I thank each and every one of my brothers and sisters for their sacrifice and their hard work ensuring no more of us had to pay the same price. It’s now, that I’m finally able to realize how precious time really in comparison to everything else.
The Why?
The second occurrence which led to this week’s theme was finishing “Man’s search for Ultimate Meaning” by Dr. Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, neurologist, author, and Holocaust survivor. Frankl discusses his existential vacuum theory, which is a void, or, inability to find meaning in life. To not go too far down the rabbit hole of neurological and psychological analysis, I will say Frankl offers insight for everyone to learn from when searching for the answer to life with his Logo Therapy Concept. Logo Therapy is a paradigm in which we apply our freedom to choose our actions, with finding meaning in any situations, which compliments our primary motivation to find our life’s purpose. Frankl suggests the answer to this age-old question can only come from within. It is up to us to determine what we were meant to accomplish with the time we were given.
Science is what makes life work, and art is what makes life worth living. My interpretation of Frankl’s theory is simple — there is no amount of money, time, position, or material object that can universally fill the void for mankind. The secret is to live a life that pushes you to be the best human you can be. This does not mean religion, or, a particular cut and paste process from influential personas are going to be able to solve this question. Meaning is determined by the experiences we have in our lives. Values to some, will mean something very different to others based on their own personal experiences, and that’s okay. The problem occurs when those intrinsic beliefs are imposed on others without the same perspective. Let me not get too ahead of myself, it’s much too early in my reflections for Thomas Hobbes Social Contract Theory, but we’ll get there.
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
My own personal vision
My final, and most endearing experience, which guided this week’s reflection toward the meaning theme, was having the privilege to lead my own virtual Family Jiu-jitsu class. Special thanks to my Zen Martial Arts Family for giving such and amazing opportunity. My students were patient with me as I stumbled through a highly-detailed lesson plan which was too much for our little ones in our first session. At the end of the class, I thanked everyone for their patience and willingness to follow through with the techniques. Yes, we are our own worse critics, but learning to adapt to your audience and provide a level of instruction which will help your students reach their training objectives and personal goals is the utopia for all coaches. I adjusted fire for the second iteration and had a more digestible lesson plan and communicated more coherently with my online cohort. It was a beautiful experience.
What many of us do not realize is the majority of people in the audience want you to succeed. The same logic goes for life, no one is rooting for you to fail, unless you give them a reason to, so just do your best. Every time I step foot on the mats I feel like I am becoming a better person. One of the most prevalent reasons is because I am in competition with the person I was yesterday, and that internal struggle is a key ingredient to finding one’s purpose.
Final thoughts
The universe is conspiring and I couldn’t be more grateful. I woke up one morning to see my last reflection shared by Coach Mando Rosales Jr., at Zen Martial Arts El Paso, Texas, and by Professor Tom DeBlass one of his his social media pages as well. I have found my calling and I have never been more sure about what I wanted to do after I retire from active duty than I do at this time.
Life is what you make it, and we are the only one’s who can determine our own individual purpose. Go forward knowing the passion which drives you to be your best and makes you intrinsically happy, is the right answer. Every minute has a name, and I want to spend mine helping my family and other creative minds practitioners reach their own personal vision. One team, one family!
References:
Coelho, Paulo. The Alchemist. HarperOne, 2014.
Frankl, Viktor E. Man’s Search for Ultimate Meaning. Rider, 2011.