“The weakest ink is better than the strongest memory.” ~Chinese Proverb
In the end, all we have is our family. This is the mantra I live by, family first. It’s not always perfect, wholesome, or adventurous, but the moments shared with my family will always be priceless. Enough of the Hallmark verbiage, time to get down to brass tax.
I have been reading a lot about entrepreneurship and success. The overarching them I have found has to do with consistency. Turning productive moments in life into power habits is the way many Fortune 500 types lead industry and shape their companies into conglomerates. In my recent literary excursion, “The Daily Entrepreneur” by S.J. Scott, the author states many power players are up between the hours of 0330-0600 hours or, in the a.m., getting after it. The tasks range from physical exercise, to writing, or even meditation. Often times it’s a way to gain a short-term win before the family awakes and the daily grind kicks off for real.
It has been a highly-productive couple of weeks for Team Clas, to say the least. Dominic and Brianna have met several milestones academically, in sports and dance, as well as on the mats. Brianna graduated from Pre-k, Dominic finished 1st Grade; Brianna performed in her first Ballet Recital; Dominic scored his first goal in soccer during the last game of the season; and both Dominic and Brianna passed their stripe-promotion tests in their Zen Junior Warrior Jiu-jitsu Class.
The best part of the experiences my children have had in the past few weeks, is that I have been able to participate in person. It’s bitter sweet being a service member at times. I missed my son’s Pre-k graduation because I was deployed at that time. I’m definitely not trying to compare my missed opportunities to others that I know who have missed births, birthdays, graduations, you name it, but no matter how minor the event, I want to be there to share in the experience with my family.
Crossroads
I had an opportunity to opt-in to a professional military education option this week. Claudia and I discussed it in detail, we did our mission analysis, and knocked out the course of action comparison. However, after thinking our Wargame was complete, our little ones had some thoughts of their own. “Dad, I wish you could retire tomorrow, so you can stay home with us,” said Dominic. “Why do you have to go to work?” said Brianna. Knowing what I know now, in regards to career and family, the hardest thing to do as a professional, no matter what kind your craft, is to achieve synergy between personal and professional ambitions.
Dave Chappelle referenced the famous Monkey Trap after he returned back to the comedy scene. A monkey trap is simple by design. You put a coconut in a box with opening only large enough for the monkey’s hand to go through. The trap succeeds because the monkey’s want for the coconut exceeds his concern for his safety, so the hunter is able to capture the monkey who could have escaped if he just let go. Dave Chappelle stated it was time for him to let go and overcome his own greed for success because it was counterproductive to the lifestyle he wanted for himself and his family. It’s important for us to identify Monkey Traps as we navigate the road to our ideal lives.
The only person you can control is you. So focus on making yourself who you want to be.” ~Jocko Willink
Seize the Initiative
Through consistency we can achieve our goals. There is a theory that one’s ability to achieve mastery can be done using the 10 thousand hour rule. There is debate about this formula, but if you take this rule in the perspective of working toward your craft routinely, in a manner that is as common as doing personal hygiene, there is truth to the method. It’s also important to capitalize on your success and keep the keep the momentum going.
Goals need to build on each other. This, however, will require one’s ability to continue in the face of failure. Everyone who has achieved greatness has experienced failure. It’s part of the curing process. It’s also a very important lesson to teach our kids at an early age. My son cried after his team lost the second game in a row last year. He told me he hates losing. I told him that’s okay, it’s a part of the process. Failure today is just a small investment in tomorrow’s glory.
“There’s absolutely no shame in failure; it’s part of life’s trajectory. However, when you extrapolate meaning and purpose from failures, you ensure that the hardship wasn’t in vain because you gained insight that you otherwise wouldn’t have access to.” ” Farshad Asl, How to Seize Momentum in 2021, Forbes
The second part of the process is to keep moving forward. How do you build on your success? Most businesses fail in five years or less. What is the next step? If you’re not thinking about this, who is? The best plan may not make it past first contact, but no plan is always doomed to fail. Here’s a secret, if you are waiting until you graduate college to figure out what you’re going to do with your life, don’t expect much change in the first six months. Transition can be one of the most dangerous time when executing your strategy. Master the “If” and “Then” approach and you will be able to pivot to a position of advantage.
State of Being
Age is a state of mind, I say this as my 40th birthday looms on the horizon. A lot of people have told me you have to go all out for the big Four-O! Honestly, I try to live my best life every day and I like to think I leave it on the mat same as I did the day before. Forty doesn’t scare me. The aches and pains linger a bit more, but I’m still doing what I love to do in every aspect of my life. This is important because if we want our kids to be successful we have to show them what that means to us.
It’s not important that you become a good fighter in this world. It’s not important that you become a good spiritual guide in this world. It’s important that you find a way to live a pleasant and in the best case you support other people that they also find the same…” Shi Heng Yi, Live a Pleasant Life
Happiness is a lesson we need to teach our kids. Do not mistake what I’m saying, I do not mean we only speak of sunshine, rainbows, or other types of gratification. I mean we have to demonstrate the correlation between hard work and purpose. Getting up early and working out is hard work. Doing research for a project is hard work. Writing and preparing for a dissertation or taking a board exam is hard work. Working on a construction team for a high-rise is hard work. Our children will see this, but what we can’t easily communicate to them is the purpose.
As noble as it may seem to tell your kids I do this work so that you can have a better life. The message and motive will be lost in translation if we do not help our kids understand what their best life will be. The choices are vast and the opportunities are endless for tomorrow’s generation. The best legacy I can envision is one that prioritizes family as well as individuality. I’m not sure what the journey will look like for my son and daughter, but one thing I do know is my wife and I will be there for them both along the way. One team, one family! ~Doc