I hope the majority of you got the “O Brother Where Art Thou” reference in the title of this reflection. This past Father’s Day was a very special day for me as I had the privilege to spend with my family. In my line of work, it’s fairly easy to miss key events throughout the year due to deployments and other operational requirements. Nevertheless, it’s hard to believe it’s been six years since I became a Dad, Papi, Father, Old Man, Big Guy, Papi Coach, etc… I can use this platform to speak to all of the amazing experiences I’ve shared with my children, but instead I want to share key moments that I feel hazed me into my parental role. If for no other reason, to simply give my kids a reference in the parental playbook when they are learning the ropes themselves.
Consider that as the heaps of sand piled on one another hide the former sands, so in life the events which go before are soon covered by those which come after.” ~Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius, “Meditations”, translated by George Long and Duncan Steen, released 7 January 2011. Naxos Audio Books.
As I prepared for the day dawning my Sunday’s Finest to include my charcoal tie, second-hand, very Euro three button vest and Gary Vee-line “Optimism and Positivity” K-Swiss kicks, I though about a saying I heard in the past … “Children are tiny miracles which prove God does exist.” There is something to be said about joining the parental ranks. Yes, the grind is real, the neediness is constant, and there are numerous parent hack references at every turn that claim to be the new hotness in getting your kids on the right track to beat life and win. I pay little attention to those avenues, and rather trust my instincts most of the time. However, that approach does not come without its own challenges.
Children are little miracles that prove God exists.” ~Anonymous
Parental Baptism
One of the most significant moments I can remember, which baptized me into parenthood occurred when Dominic was a year old. Claudia was getting ready for work at 5 a.m. and I had another 30 minutes before I had to get ready for work. Dominic was up all night tossing and turning, so we assumed one of us would have to hang back at home station to take care of the little guy.
Dominic coughed a few times climbed on top of my chest, lifted his head up, and began to projectile vomit directly into my face, mouth open and all. After this immediate shock of sobriety, I began to focus on my son. He was crying his eyes out, also covered in puke, and didn’t know what was going on. That was my focus, take care of my boy.
As a parent, you will bare the burden of worry, fear, anxiety, failure, and after all that is processed an immeasurable joy of seeing the joys of life all over again through your child’s eyes.
Fast-forward to 2017, I just returned home from a second deployment to Europe. Brianna was born during this deployment, however, I was able to make it home for the birth of my little girl. I pride myself in the fact that I’ve been in the room cheering my wife on as both of my children came into this world. Regardless, when I returned home to my family I wasn’t too sure how my daughter was going to bond with me.
Taking it slowly, I would hold her and see her staring at me trying to figure who this giant human was, who was now always around. A week went by before she reached for me instead of Mommy. That was the special moment, the moment our bond was solidified, and when she welcomed me into the pack. Children are great because they are the most honest beings you’ll ever meet … like it, or not. These are the special moments that make the sleepless nights, fourth diaper change of the day, sitting on the floor for the third time playing dolly, or Flipping the Baby … my personal favorite.
Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence.” ~Plato
https://everydaypower.com/parents-quotes-and-sayings/
In the Trenches
To all my fellow parents out there trying to figure out the different nuances of your role as teacher, coach, and mentor this is for you. The best piece of advice given to my wife and I when we were expecting Dominic, was given by my mom at our Baby Shower.
After a borage of great advice and wisdom directed at Claudia and I, from the veteran parental circle of trust, my mother got up and walked over to Claudia. She told Claudia, “Okay, now forget about everything they just told you and remember to trust your instincts as a parent.” This has resonated with me more than anything else because I have to trust judgement that will leave my children with the consequences down the road.
Claudia and I parent together, we make gains and experience setbacks. Our kids are brilliant and unique, but are forces to be reckon with in their own right. We will continue to listen and learn from others, but will also continue to make our own informed decisions when it comes to our kids. They deserve champions in their corner while the resource is still available. Our hopes are they relive our positive experiences with our grandchildren in the future and become better parents than we are. The best gift a child can give their parents is to live a life to their full potential and pay the wisdom forward to the next generations. Best wishes to all of you my friends. One team, one family! ~Doc
