A growth mindset and positive attitude will only take you so far. Research has shown individuals who can find perspective, or goodness in their current state, will be more resilient than others who are working toward a end. This concept, the Stockdale Paradox, is designed to help us survive and thrive in situations where we have little control of our environments. This reflection is dedicated to those who have helped me get through the lowest points of my life through exemplary character and resilience in the face of adversity.
They [Resilient POWs] don’t hang their hopes on the next date that things will be fine and they don’t fall into a pit of despair. It is these folks who seem to be best adapted to survive and thrive in environments where they have little control.” ~Admiral James Stockdale, the Stockdale Paradox
https://www.forbes.com/sites/chriscancialosi/2020/05/06/former-pow-shares-thoughts-on-surviving-and-thriving-in-difficult-times/?sh=7939af3a5ddd
This past week I finished the book, “Start with your People,” by Brian Dixon and Ruth Soukup. As I navigate through the coaching series of literature I promised myself I would complete this year, I’m finding relief that a majority of the life-coach, self-help, consulting, and industry leaders say the same thing. Let your passion be your guide. COVID-19 brought us a unique era which has allowed many of us realize what we’d rather be doing if we could go back and continue grinding like we did prior to the pandemic. A large number of professionals have left prominent practices and competitive positions within their organization because of the growing trend of a “you only live once” (YOLO) economy.
“I realized I was sitting at my kitchen counter 10 hours a day feeling miserable,” he said. “I just thought: ‘What do I have to lose? We could all die tomorrow.’” ~Brett Williams, former lawyer in Orlando, Florida
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/21/technology/welcome-to-the-yolo-economy.html#:~:text=Individual%20YOLO%20decisions%20can%20be%20chalked%20up%20to,that%20reward%20the%20crazy%20and%20punish%20the%20cautious.
Clarity
Clarity
As I look around and take things in each day, I’ve noticed I’ve been smiling more. I have a lot to be thankful for and my wife, Claudia, and I have worked and sacrificed so much to get where we are in our lives. This realization has manifested another ambition and that is to help others realize their own dreams.
Today, I reached 17 years of service in the U.S. military. I’ve deployed overseas several times and I have been in situations I didn’t believe I would walk away from. On occasion I will find myself back in those situations subconsciously, but those are more rare occurrences now than they were many years ago. I offer this because I know what adversity, failure, and hardship look and feel like. I will not say I used perspective to make me more resilient to overcome the challenges of yesteryear, but I will say there were people whose influence made a very positive impression on my mental health because they were able to demonstrate this type of resilience. There has been grizzled non-commissioned officers, crusty senior leaders, and motivated enlisted soldiers who were in their element when things would go array, of whom helped keep my mind right in some dire times.
Knowing exactly what you want your future to look like, will lead you to your dreams. You have to have your vision first.” ~Brian Dixon
Brian Dixon and Ruth Soukup, Start with your People, 10 September 2019. Zondervan Publishing, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Start with your People
Through gaining perspective and having found your vision, you can now create a team that will help it come to fruition. This, however, is an art in itself because the human condition will always play a part in your team dynamics. A good leader has to take into account the need of his or her employees. Throughout each section that drives an organization there needs to be consideration of employee health, welfare, and growth, in addition to concerns of their performance. This is not rocket science, but often times the bottom line does influence our actions as leaders.
There have been great leadership models written in books such as “Leaders’ Eat Last,” by Simon Sinek; or, “Extreme Ownership,” by Jocko Willink, which can give leaders’ processes to follow to ensure the team is taken care of along with the profit margin. I think the best approach to follow, in hindsight, is knowing that you owe the new generation of yourself the leg-up advantage you may have not had when you were grinding at the entry level. This is not a new concept by any means and was a famous tactic used by Herb Kelleher, co-founder and CEO of Southwest Airlines, believed employee satisfaction leads to organizational success.
“The way we show up for people in our lives is also the way we show up for our customers and clients” ~Brian Dixon
Brian Dixon and Ruth Soukup, Start with your People, 10 September 2019. Zondervan Publishing, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
In the end, as entrepreneurs; or, leaders’ of industry, it is important to remember that our contributions should compliment our society and future generations. An initiative that does not serve a greater purpose and is self-serving is doomed to fail. As long as your vision can help others, it’s value will be recognized and on track to success. We are products of our experience. Jiu-jitsu has helped me realize where I want to go in the future. Service to my country has given me the resilience necessary to navigate through obstacles and resources to realize my vision with my family; and my experience as a leader has helped me be a better parent and human being. I am grateful for where I am today, excited for where I’ll be tomorrow, and motivated to help others realize their best selves as well. Be thankful and be grateful my friends. One Team, One Family! ~Doc