Life is a journey with an unknown destination and all you can do is enjoy the checkpoints along the way. As a child your dreams are large and may even seem outlandish, but that’s okay because that’s what you’re supposed to do as a kid, right? So what changes when you become an adult? I’ll tell you what… fear.
It’s very easy to find comfort in the practical and mediocre because it’s what pays the bills. This article is not meant to discount the many hard working individuals that are doing their best to make ends meet and support family. This article is meant to motivate those who are at a crossroads in life who could either take the path less traveled, or continue to destination status quo. If your goals are larger than life, I’d offer the following… understand what it will take to get there, be prepared for setbacks, and establish a power routine that will get you there one step at a time.
Eyes on the Prize
Before you can head out and go for the brass ring, you need to understand what the prize is first. If your dream is to become an astronaut, you’ll definitely have your work cut out for you academically, financially, and allocating the amount of time required to meet each gate toward your space career.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” ~ Lao Tzu
Notice I didn’t begin with dreams of becoming rich and famous. The reason for my methodology is not because there is anything wrong with it, but because if you are living your dream wealth will follow. It may not be financial or garner a lot of attention. It may be as simple as knowing your work is giving back to the community.
My wife, Claudia, had dreams of becoming a physician after her mom underwent an invasive heart surgery when she was 14 years old. Years later, Claudia accomplished her dream and completed a successful term in the Army as a Family Medicine Physician. She is currently studying to take the Law School Admission Test to pursue another professional degree. If you ask Claudia how she reached this point in her life she’d tell you it’s due to working toward her goals one step at a time. Another way to frame this method is phasing.
Phasing
In the military when an operation is complex, or requires a lot synchronization with multiple entities, the plan will be broken up into multiple phases to ensure certain gates are met before the next phase of the operation begins. This method can easily be applied to personal goal attainment if you are committed to your cause.
As a stereotypical procrastinator, I knew I had to change my thought process when I began working on my graduate degrees. I setup a habit to commit 1-2 hours a day, regardless if had coursework of any kind due or not. This technique gave me the tool I needed to chop down two master’s degrees and a doctorate by the time I was 33 years old. This is easy to do when you do not have kids, but if you truly want something you have to put in the work regardless.
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” ~ Earl Nightingale
Murphy’s Law
You can have the best plan generated to go after your life’s dream, but their is a law out there by the name of Murphy, which suggests, “whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.” If your dream is to be a tenure professor at an esteemed university, or, if you really want to break into a highly competitive career in the arts like acting or the music industry you will have your share of setbacks. The beauty about setbacks is they serve as a crucible and make your success that much greater.
In my early 30s I had a pretty candid conversation with a health provider doing a pre-deployment physical on me. My blood pressure was 145/95 and my cholesterol was at 336. The dialogue resulted in her telling me that I was non-deployable until I either dropped my cholesterol below 300, or began taking pills that would drop my levels. The problem with the latter solution was I would likely be on medication for the rest of my life and I wasn’t about that kind of commitment. I adjusted my diet to rule out my red meat and junk food intake, which brought my levels down enough to be deployable.
I was on my way back from leave, in December 2014, to continue my professional military education in Kansas and I was thinking about playing with my grandchildren in the future because I was about to be a father. I thought to myself, hell I’d be lucky to see my kid graduate high school. let alone see my grandchildren be born with my current health issues. You can exercise three times a day and still be at risk of heart disease and diabetes if you have poor genetics and your pounding fast food like it’s going out of style. No thank you, I wasn’t going to let poor dietary habits take away from my family, especially because my diet is within the span of my control. My goal wasn’t too complex, it’s to live a long and healthy life to be there for my kids and grandchildren.
Routine
Overcoming my health issues was a huge feat for me and I’m glad I made the necessary life change when I did. I started in small chunks and used the same routine technique I used to overcome my graduate-level education. To bypass a lot of the criticism of living a plant-based lifestyle and to ease the transition in my family and social circle, I used Lent as the window to give up meat and start my journey as a vegetarian. I actually began a month prior by culminating my career as an omnivore at my 10th Year Wedding Anniversary Dinner, which Claudia and I celebrated at Fogo de Chao, a Brazilian Steakhouse, where I left my mark.
Fast forward six months into the future to June 2015, I reported to Fort Hood prior to linking up with my unit in Europe for my next deployment. I already lost more than 30 pounds and was curious what my blood pressure/ cholesterol levels were. At 185 pounds, down from 218, and living a plant-based lifestyle for six months my blood pressure was 124/79 and my cholesterol was at 204. These were the lowest levels I’ve ever seen and I was 33 years old.
Keep Moving Forward
My life-goals continue to evolve. I want to open doors for my kids academically, physically, and professionally. Mine and Claudia’s philosophy is you can’t expect things from your kids you wouldn’t expect from yourself. That doesn’t mean we’re going to be a family of astronauts, but it does mean we could how them what hard work, dedication, attention to detail, and grit looks like. The motivation for this week’s theme derived from me earning a one-stripe promotion from Professor Carlos Freire and Coach and Mentor Mando Rosales Jr. at Zen Martial Arts El Paso, Texas.
I competed in my first submission grappling tournament after three months of training in Omaha, Nebraska. We had a good number of grapplers from my gym sign-up and I wanted to see what the experience was like. I had one match and it was set for 15 minutes. My opponent and I rolled it out for eight minutes before he caught me in a rear-naked choke for the win. Now let me frame this for you the right way, it was not graceful to say the least. We were both white belts and were clueless as to how to finish the match. We looked like two squirrels fighting for an acorn in the open. All of that didn’t matter, I was reborn and that experience fueled my passion to keep training like no other.
After my match, I saw two purple belts competing against one another in the most intense technical match I’ve ever seen up to that point. Their match was 15 minutes long and went into double overtime. Eddie Bravo Invitational rules require both competitors to go into a two minute over time to either submit or escape a submission. Each competitor gets an opportunity in a position of advantage and the winner is declared by the time it takes either one to submit or escape. Their match went into double overtime putting them rolling for 20 minutes to declare a victor. Victory was claimed by one second at the end of it all. It was heart that claimed that victory in the end and both competitors clearly left it all on the mat.
I ran into the purple belt competitor that took home the victory in the aforementioned display of sheer will. Like any doe-eyed white belt would, I told him how awesome his match was and that I hope I can get to that level on the mats one day. His reply was classic and perfect in every way, he said “Thank you, that’s 10 years of training. Just stick with it and everything else will take care of itself.” Five years later, that advice continues to be echoed by top competitors and higher belts across the community. Just show up and your coaches and training partners will take care of the rest.
Be as you wish to seem.” ~ Socrates
The power of routine is an amazing thing. You have to live it day in and day out. Your goals and dreams cannot be something you mark on a calendar and simply arrive at. You have to cultivate your life to get to your destination day by day and everything else will fall into place. Good luck my friends… one team, one family!
References:
Clark, Josh. “How Murphy’s Law Works.” HowStuffWorks. HowStuffWorks, September 26, 2007. https://people.howstuffworks.com/murphys-law.htm.
Ford, Erin. “‘Be as You Wish to Seem.”: Live Your Dream.” Your Dream Blog, August 11, 2017. https://yourdream.liveyourdream.org/2017/03/be-as-you-wish-to-seem/.
Kedia-Mehta, Nidhi. “‘The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step’ -Lao Tzu.” Medium. Medium, December 24, 2018. https://medium.com/@nidhiikedia/the-journey-of-a-thousand-miles-begins-with-a-single-step-lao-tzu-1620828742b5.
Roosevelt, Theodore. The Man in the Arena: Selected Writings of Theodore Roosevelt: A Reader. Riegelsville, Pennsylvania: Forge, 2016.
Vieker, Jonathan. “The Time Will Pass Anyway: Evaluating Long-Term Goals.” Jonathan Vieker, June 1, 2018. https://jonathanvieker.com/time-will-pass-anyway/.