To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” ~Fictional motto of Life Magazine, from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
First things first, Happy Holidays to everyone reading this entry! I wish you nothing but the best for you and your loved ones during this time of joy.
Privilege
This year, I have the privilege to write this reflection from Mihail Kogălniceanu, Romania. It’s an old stomping ground of mine, and the last time I was in Romania was just after I welcomed my daughter, “Gamarjobat Girl”, into the world in 2017. That experience was an intense.
I was in Baumholder, Germany, in April of 2017, and my wife, Claudia, told me our baby would be coming soon, she was in Texas at the time. Without hesitation, I dropped an emergency leave form, and booked a ticket for the next day through Sato Travel, a military contracted travel service.
During my travels back, I purchased a bottle of Dom Perignon Champagne, to celebrate with the family. Well … once I arrived to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport the TSA Security personnel informed me I had to wait for someone to screen the bottle. This did not occur for quite some time, and I almost missed my connection to get me back to Fort Cavazos, formerly Fort Hood, to welcome my baby girl. If it wasn’t for the many people congratulating me for my inbound bundle of joy, I would have lost my cool.
I made it in enough time to catch my baby, and once I saw my daughter’s face for the first time, nothing else in the world mattered. It was the same feeling I had when I welcomed “Chumbawumbaman” into the world when he was born. After I celebrated the feeling of being a father for the second time, I had to return to Europe to continue on with my unit’s deployment which landed me in Romania for the first time in my life.
Fun Fact: Both of my kids were born at Fort Hood, TX, that’s why I call them “Daddy’s Little Hoodlums”.
Pressure
Not too long ago, a senior leader I work for made the comment, “Pressure is the Privilege”. This has resonated with me, and I now understand what my experiences have done for me up to this point. This is my seventh deployment, and in this particular circumstance I’m months away from transitioning out of the military. Does it sting a bit to be away from my family during the holidays – yes it does, but there is opportunity to be found in even the most trying times.
I’ve made a decision to use this time away from home to focus on self-development. I need to become a better version of myself for the ones I can’t wait to get back home to. That’s the tax I place on my shoulders for leaving. I am going to push myself to be smarter, faster, stronger, and a better technician and tactician of my craft. What will this entail? I will do everything I can do to be physically, mentally, and emotionally bulletproof.
My wife is an amazing person, and has told me several times to get out and see the country. Romania is a beautiful country, and I had amazing experiences here in the past driving through the Carpathian Mountains testing my driving abilities in a manual transmission Hyundai Tucson. It was great! However, this time around I am going to use this opportunity to be used as more of a school of hard knocks.
Physical
In the past few weeks, I started a weight-training regimen to shake the rust out of my joints and muscles. My Zen Martial Arts Brother, Coach Este’, from G4 Fitness out of El Paso, gave me a program to follow on the app “Train Heroic”, and I’m starting to see a huge difference in my ground game with the added gains. Additionally, I found some like-minded jiu-jitsu players who have been training the Arte Suave with me in an old metal building with some mats. “Iron Sharpens Iron” and it goes to show you if you want something bad enough the universe will provide. I’m truly grateful I can keep training the ground game while I’m forward.
Mental
As a professional communicator, there is a lot to learn while I’m out here. Understanding the complexities of shaping a narrative that resonates with key audiences in the international community is not an easy task. Every message communicated has either a purpose or is a wasted effort, there is no in between. To add to the complexities, the medium and the messenger are equally as important. The art of this game comes down to leverage and timing in the right venues as we get ready to tell this story.
To prepare for this, I’ve been consuming all I can to understand the current state of affairs as routinely as possible. Every day is a work day, and establishing a power routine has been the first step in getting ready for the post-holiday increased operational tempo. I just finished reading the 2 Second Lean, by Paul Akers. The key mantra I took away from this book was to set the expectation, inspect the expectation, and reinforce the expectation. Each day will be a battle rhythm of what needs to be done, what should have been done up to this point, and making sure the team knows what needs to be done with a big emphasis on the why.
A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.” ~Colin Powell
Emotional
My emotional wellbeing has often been a struggle for me to operationalize. I do not separate spiritual and emotional fitness from each other. They are one in the same or both are just an illusion from my perspective. I do not write these reflections to tell people what to do, or what to believe, that’s my disclaimer up front. My thesis is faith or belief in something greater strengthens our sense of purpose.
In reading the book Uniquely Human, by Dr. Barry Prizant, the author stated parents with autistic children who had strong belief system or faith added into their family toolkit were able to have a more balanced quality of life in comparison to those who didn’t. This phenomenon can be found in generalizing against other trauma-based lifestyles, often from those who have overcome bouts of addiction or abuse.
The only thing guaranteed is change, so constantly learning and growing, I’m trying to put my best foot forward.” ~Elijah Riley
My family and I are coming up to a year of practicing our faith on a routine basis. It’s hasn’t been the easiest thing to do, especially with adolescents, but in reflection, I have found myself more interested in my emotional state of being. This has helped me get through the loss of two key family members back home.
My Tia Maria and my Tio Emilio have both passed this fall. The two were key figures, matriarch and patriarch, of our family and my respect for them and the sacrifices they made to raise our family to a higher status will always be honored and respected. It pains me to not have the opportunity to grieve with the family, and I did struggle with this until I spoke with the Chaplain about my circumstances.
The validation for me was that I knew I could talk to the Chaplain about my feelings and I didn’t have to carry the burden by myself. It’s a resource I respect more now than I have in the past. The cave mentality, keeping it all inside, or just adding another rock to the ruck sack and thinking it will not weigh you down, is not the smart play. This is advice is coming from an introvert, so for all of you reading this that have some baggage you want to offload, please find someone to talk to about your situation.
RED
Remember Everyone Deployed: A tough part of military service is being away from your loved ones for the holidays and other milestone events. Know that all the support you give service members from back home holds a special place in their hearts. On behalf of my sisters and brothers serving away from home during this time, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
One Team, One Family!
~Doc
On the Cover:
The cover photo used for this article was taken by Jonathan Hornby at Mihail Kogălniceanu Air Base, Dec. 15, 2023.