The only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision.” ~Hellen Keller, as cited in philosobyog.com
My daughter, Brianna, looked up at me the other day and asked, “Why do you love me and Dominic?” I told her it’s because they were both my purpose. She replied, “What’s purpose?” I told her purpose is what gives your life meaning. I have never aspired to a movie star, professional athlete, CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or any other elite persona. However, I always told myself and others I would be a great father. It’s my duty to provide my kids with a great example of what a parent and a responsible adult should be. The most important lessons in life begin at home.
The road to adulthood is plagued with obstacles, challenges, and influences of all kinds coming from every direction. Technology has come such a long way from the early 90’s that it can be intimidating for those who are joining the parental league. There was a time in my house, as a young man when I was the family remote because I was the youngest one in the room. Now, children have tablets at their disposal and we have to worry about inappropriate advertisements invading our children screen time. There is, however, one thing that cannot be replaced by technology, and that is the relationship between parents and their children.
Purpose
A sense of purpose is the foundation to finding happiness. Framing this theory for my children is crucial to ensure the lesson promulgates to future generations. Why is it that so many parents think they are finished with their parental responsibility when their children leave the nest? It doesn’t make any sense to me. It seems there is a deficit on parental figures that are aware of the vital role they play as grandparents. Not in all cases, but there are a lot in my generation that have a limited grandparent source of secondary security.
Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions.” ~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.16, as cited by The Daily Stoic
Vision
Every time I start a new journal I re-write my family’s vision mission statements:
MISSION: The Clas Family will live a values-based lifestyle to improve humanity and the ecosystem for generations to come.
VISION: Clas Family generations to come will grow to become warrior leaders with the ability to exercise independent thought, make informed decisions, and respect the interdependency between nature and society.”
It’s dangerous not to know where you want to be in the future. It leaves a large gap for chance to raise its head and take you down a path you would otherwise not travel down if you could go back to an earlier waypoint and make better choices. The easiest way to not suffer this un-forecasted fate of mediocrity is to be deliberate in deciding where you want to be in the next few years and then develop a plan of action to get there.
Goals
Goal setting is the phase which brings your plan to reality. Identifying your short, mid, and long-range goals will help bring your vision into arms reach. Once you set a goal, you can then backwards plan to determine the resources and requirements necessary to achieve success. Deciding to go to college by the next fall term will generate a checklist that will serve as an operational approach to make it happen. Step one, download the application, step two, get the required pre-requisites knocked out (letter of recommendation, standardized test score, transcripts, Financial Aid packet to complete, etc…). This will only be possible if you give yourself deadlines for each goal that will get you to your desired state of being.
Success in not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill, as cited by the business-standard.com
Repeat
The processes of conceptual and deliberate planning are to be replicated as often as possible to keep pushing you to where you want to be. Plan, Prepare, Execute, and Assess is a process the military follows to reach mission completion. Notice how I said completion and not success. Success is not guaranteed and that is why processes like this one exist. They are designed to provide a framework for team members to understand and follow to get from one phase to the next.
Your vision will continue to evolve and your list of goals will likely continue to grow. This has been the case for me since I became a family man. I knew I needed to stay employed to take care of my family and I learned that being employed wasn’t enough. I have to be a role model for my kids. You cannot ask others to do something you are unwilling to do yourself. This is where #adulting comes in. It is up to parents to be the change agent for the family. If you expect your kids to chase their dreams, you better have gone after your own personal destiny. If you expect your kids to grow meaningful relationships you and your spouse have to treat each other with mutual love and respect.
Success, meaningful success, begins when we take ownership and actively take responsibility for our part in the shortcomings of our life.” ~Eric Thomas, Greatness is Upon You: Laying the Foundation
Evolution
Heraclitus once said, “The only thing constant in life is change.” With every day that passes another generation will come closer and closer to taking the reins of organizations that wield immense power and influence on the international stage. If our decisions, as the incumbent, are to sit back and enjoy the ride during hardship and adversity we will continue to seal the fate of our legacies as bystanders instead of change agents. This reflection is not designed to be direct in nature, it’s designed to motivate all the fortunate people out there that where the rank of parent to help the next generation rise to greatness. This is a call to action for those individuals looking for guidance and wisdom to take the family game to the next level. Together we can rise, together we can thrive, and together we can make a positive difference in society. One team, one family! ~Doc