The bell rings… I stay on my back for a while collecting every bit of motivation I have for the last training round. A younger, stronger, faster, and hungrier grappler awaits for the opportunity to refine his game. I make my way over to my training partner, punisher, and final obstacle to the sweet bliss of carrying on a quiet day with the family.
We slap hands, bump fist, and commence the battle of wills for the last six-minutes of practice. I’m drained, down four-pounds in water weight alone, and continue on with my beating. My body goes into autopilot, I’m outpacing logic and if I keep on this way I may have a shot to defend against my skilled abuser. I over-commit, get caught in an arm triangle, so I tap. This is the process, trust the process.
We restart, and I knee-cut pass and achieve the north-south position. I’m in a good spot, so I think, shoot my partner regains guard, he sweeps me, there’s 30 seconds left on the clock, I have a strong lockdown in deep-half and my partner begins to work a Darce Choke. I hold on for the final seconds… the round ends, I tell my partner I appreciate him and thanks for the awesome roll.
When you’re exhausted and have no muscle to leverage, your operating off of pure technique and heart. I believe this is the definition of pure Jiu-jitsu. I’m 38 years-old and put myself through pain and suffering now, so that I’m prepared for my golden years. I will be a force multiplier for my grandchildren, not a burden. Working through pain now, will ensure I’m prepared for my responsibilities to help my children face their future challenges. Power habits increasing comprehensive fitness including mental, physical, and emotional well-being will be the playbook to success.
“The key here is to be specific and consistent—figure out what makes you feel the most mighty and make a habit of doing those things.” ~Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass at Making Money
Jen Sincero, 2017, You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth.
A Year in Reflection
The past few weeks have been filled with milestones I’m grateful to share with all of you. It’s been a year since I’ve started this project and I only see it getting bigger and more successful as we move out of the COVID-19 era and refocus our lives toward community and togetherness once more. Last week, May 28, 2021, I was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. I’ve been in the military for a little over 17 years and I still have the same sense of pride in service I did as a Second Lieutenant when I received my commission in 2004.
There are so many people I have to thank, and I’m just happy I was able to livestream the event to give everyone who’s been a part of this amazing journey the opportunity to see the ceremony. More importantly, this time around I was able to share the day with my family. Claudia and I have been married for more than 16 years and this was the first ceremony she’s ever been able to see in person. Nothing was more important to me than having her, and our children, Dominic and Brianna, place the new rank on my uniform.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right” ~Henry Ford
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/978-whether-you-think-you-can-or-you-think-you-can-t–you-re
My journey in the military hasn’t been easy. Hard to believe I’m still in the game after 17 years, five deployments, and two children born while Claudia and I were both serving as a dual-military couple. That’s right, this journey has been a team sport for our family to say the least.
I did not come from a military family and there was no expectation for me to join from my parents. Honestly, my family would have much preferred an alternate career path for me that would have kept me back home in Chicago. However, the choice was mine to make for better or worse. I saw an opportunity to do something greater with my life and carve a path in a new direction for my family.
Mental Focus
The mental nutrition which has pushed me to stay on task these past few weeks came from “Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go” by Beverly Kaye and Julie Winkle Giulioni, and “You Are a Badass at Making Money” by Jen Sincero. Both self-help works offered conceptual frameworks to help entrepreneurs and leaders of industry understand a growth mindset for the individual and the team.
Talk is the most precious and result-driven commodity managers have to share.” ~Julie Winkle Giulioni, Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go
Beverly Kaye and Julie Winkle Giulioni, 2018, Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go: Career Conversations Organizations Need and Employees Want.
It’s really easy to let the battle rhythm consume your day and take time away from developing your teammates along the way. This is a misstep which often costs industry valued members of the organization. Investing into your team will improve productivity and create a culture the team at large will want to nurture, even if their best option is to move on for professional growth.
An example of this is as simple as having an outgoing employee recommend the soon to be vacant position to another quality candidate in their network. Ultimately, if we want to retain the best and ensure our teammates are performing to their full potential we have to invest in their development and have candid conversations about their goals and where they see themselves in the organization. Easier said than done, I know, but Kaye and Giulioni presented great examples of why professional development should be a high priority for every organization.
“Figure out what makes you feel like you could carry a horse over your head and do it as often as possible. You are going for the gold here, you have to stay in The Zone.” ~Jen Sincero, You are a Badass
Jen Sincero, 2016, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.
The “You’re a Badass” literature were extremely helpful in the transitions that occurred in the past few weeks. Since I’ve jumped on the self-improvement band wagon it seems like most of the right books have found me at the right time, whether they were from my pre-existing plan, or, from a recommendation from the most influential person in my life… my wife. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what transpires, only how we perceive it and what emotions we choose to invest in the response.
The definition of tenacity is the quality of being able to grip something firmly. I choose to grip the ones I love, and the opportunities available to me to become a master of my craft. This is a marathon, not a sprint and I don’t know what the next ten years will have in store for me and the one’s I love, but I do know it will be great. I’m just going to stay true to the process and be the best me I can be for my family, my teammates, and my organization. Wishing nothing but the best to all of you out there grinding day in and day out to get what you know you’re worth. I see you… One team, one family! ~Doc