“A man who is not a father to his children can never be a real man…” ~Mario Puzo, The Godfather
I know it’s been a while since my last reflection. There have been many life changes in the past few months that I’ve been on the fence of divesting this medium. However, just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in. See what I did there?
I have officially become a US Army Retiree, as of Sept. 30, 2024, and it’s been a rollercoaster ride since we returned to our “Sweet Home” Chicago. My wife and best friend, Claudia, returned to medicine and is now seeing patients in a clinic in East Chicago. Medicine is truly her calling, and she picked up where she left off without the slightest degradation in her skills.
As for yours truly, I have assumed my primary role as Household 6. Taking point for the child-rearing and other household duties. Additionally, I have been exercising my real estate skills and picked up a few Leadership Consulting gigs along the way. To all my fellow military professionals out there worried about what to do after retirement, don’t, your leadership experience is a huge commodity that the civilian enterprise will value.
Hook
If you made it this far, you’re probably wondering why I named this piece “The Godfather?” First and foremost, thank you for supporting this project. Now here we go, over the holiday break, my family and I finally made it down to Mexico to spend time with my brother-in-law, his wife, and beautiful baby girl. We haven’t seen each other in more than eight years. This was even more of a milestone for my kids, since my brother-in-law is the godfather to my daughter and has only seen them virtually for the better part of a decade.
During our vacation, my wife and I were asked to be the godparents to their daughter. For me, this is not a role I take lightly. I have high expectations for those individuals we selected to be the godparents of our children. It’s more than a superficial title. It’s an opportunity to serve as the coach, mentor, and example for our kids throughout their lives.
As a godparent, I make the following vow:
I promise I will always be there when you need me. I will always strive to be a good example for you to follow, and to be deserving of your love. Furthermore, I will work every day to earn your trust and confidence, and will be a soundboard when life presents you with problems you need help in solving. Lastly, I will be the confidant throughout your journey, providing love, time and any other resources you’ll need to take on this world as a strong and independent person, who will no doubt be a positive contribution to our society.
“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” ~Khalil Gibran
Line
To keep this thread together, I have to be honest about my initial adjustment into life as a retiree. The fact of the matter is, I’m still young and have a lot of grit and vinegar in me. Martial arts has been my therapy for more than ten years, and I see my kids growing up with that privilege in their day-to-day lives as well. What has worked so far is finding balance between the things I am good at and the things I’m passionate about.
I spent the last 20-years of my life as a leader and service member in the greatest army on earth. One doesn’t just hang that part of their personality with the uniform once the service obligation is finished. Finding opportunities to give back and share what I learned over the years has been therapeutic to say the least.
“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” ~Winston Churchill
Sinker
So what’s the point of this reflection. If you only take one thing away from this post, let it be that there is no finite win in this game called life. I still wake up with the same anxiety I had in the military because I think I’m not doing enough as an entrepreneur, father, friend or member of my community. What helps in knowing that I am still capable of waking up at 5am, knocking out my workout, getting the kids ready for school, keeping up with the rat race and making micro-improvements as a real estate professional and leadership coach.
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~Abraham Lincoln
There is nothing conventional about our lived experiences. Everyone walks a different path and has a different idea on how success and happiness is defined. I’m extremely fortunate to have the means to provide for my family, have the wife I have to grow our family business and generational wealth, and see my kids grow into the warrior leaders they are becoming.
I hope this has inspired you all to see all the positives you have in your own lives. It’s a gift just to wake up and experience one more day. Until next time – One Team, One Family! ~Doc