I just want to work hard, make money, eat with good people, and love the same woman over and over again.” ~Jason Statham
First and foremost, Happy Easter! This time of year always feels like the time for rebirth and new beginnings. The trees are green again, the flowers are blooming, and the fish are spawning. It’s always a good day when you can get a line in the water. It’s also a good day when you can stop and witness your kids develop into strong-independent humans.
A lot of great things have happened this month for Team Clas, however, I do understand we cannot appreciate the good without experience the bad. The balance of experiences, good and bad, make life worth living. It’s for this reason we value the time we have with our kids. We take everything we learned and pass the torch to the next generation to keep the momentum of progress going.
We recently celebrated Dominic’s 9th Birthday. He had a free-day-away from school and was able to set his own schedule. Claudia and I would always use our kids’ birthdays as a benchmark to when I would be retiring from the military … “When Dominic is 9 and Brianna is 7, it will be retirement party time.” That’s been a phrase I’ve used plenty since we knew Dominic was on his way to mint us new parents. The interesting part about saying it now is that we are a few months away from turning this sentiment into reality.
Seeking Independence
Dominic has just turned 9 and we have noticed a drastic change in his attitude. He has been less interested to follow orders blindly, to say the least, and I noticed he has started to take some light jabs at mom from time to time and being a little abrasive blessing. As a Dad, I’m always ready for a good bout of whits, but even I have noticed on a few occasions we had to take our disagreements to the mats, don’t misunderstand the venue, I’m referring to Burpees and Push-ups as punishment of choice, and not the old-school leather belt option.
Doing some light reading on the attitude change, I took to Scholastic.com and read “The Social and Emotional Lives of 8-10 Year Olds” article which did a pretty good job highlighting a few techniques: monetary budget management, wardrobe selection, and opportunity to negotiate dinner menu and activity selection. The only thing I disagree with is looking for “non-confrontational” ways to engage your child. A little healthy confrontation builds character and strengthens resolve in one’s position.
At the end of the day, our family is a hierarchical organization. As parents, we provide necessary resources for a higher quality of life than we received as kids; and our kids are expected to take advantage of opportunities afforded to them to become positive contributions to society when it’s their turn to lead their communities. This is the familial contract Claudia and I have in place for our kids.
I had a heart-to-heart with my son recently. This was following the annual sports physical for both Dominic and Brianna this past week where he was a little more non-user friendly than usual. I told him the facts as I see them.
“Son, you’re no longer the adorable cute kid you were at your sister’s age. The older you become, the more people are going to treat you based on your actions and manners. Manners will take you places money cannot.”
This heart-to-heart was well received, and even though I know it will take a while to set in, I know my son needed to hear this advice. My role will shift from parent to mentor in a blink of an eye. It’s scary how fast our kids grow, but that’s why we have to maintain active roles throughout their lives. “Command on Offense,” is a great phrase I learned in the military.
All animals, including humans, need to see the connection between action and consequence in order to learn or react appropriately.” ~Jocko Willink
The Reunion
Another amazing occurrence experienced this month was being able to attend the Co. C “Hard Rock”, 1-36 Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 1st Armored Division Reunion. As a cherry 2nd Lieutenant, I deployed to Iraq in 2006-07 during “The Surge,” where I served as a Mechanized Infantry Rifle Platoon Leader. It was my first assignment and every stereotype you can think of applied to me. If it wasn’t for the people I served with at all echelons during that time I have no doubt I would’ve returned in an entirely different way than I did.
One important lesson I did learn from that experience is combat tours leave a mark. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is a real beast to bear. You should not face it alone and reunions like the one I just attended are more therapeutic than one would think. There are levels of recovery we work through after an experience that compresses near every emotion you have in a small amount of time, but just like the 12-Step program, recovery will not happen until you help someone else through their crucible.
It was great seeing familiar faces I haven’t seen in years. Social media is a great tool, but it will never replace true human interaction, especially with people you trauma bonded with. Being able to talk to others who were at same place, same time, and facing the same hardships is a therapy session like no other. For those who don’t know how PTSD manifests, speaking for myself, there is a rage inside of you, and there are so many things that can trigger that rage. I can smell burnt rubber and the fumes will take me back to a small combat outpost in Tal Afar, Iraq dealing with some not-so-pleasant experience. Time does heal most wounds, but there are others need an individual with the same frame of reference to keep the healing process going.
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ~Epicurus
New Beginnings
I’m extremely proud of my wife and I’m glad I have platforms to share my sentiment to a world-wide audience. Claudia just received word that her medical license and board certification have been reinstated! My wife took time off from medical practice when the kids were little to ensure our kids had both parents in the trenches. I couldn’t be more grateful for her decision to sacrifice in such a huge way; and this is coming from someone who told her I would never agree to having my spouse be a stay-at-home mom, this was before our kids were born of course. Until I became a father, I could never understand how parents could give up their careers to raise their kids. It seemed like a cop-out to me. That was until I had little ones of my own.
The chips are falling into place day-by-day. I’ll be taking over our property portfolio soon and Claudia will be the town physician before we know it. Additionally, we will begin furnishing the home we will live in after my retirement and start making plans for future investments once we have boots-on-ground and I get my real estate license. The hat trick will be finding ways to build the Medical Practice-Real Estate Investing-Family Jiu-jitsu triad, but if there’s any family that can do it, be assured it’s this one.
Stay tuned for more milestones to drop! The coming months are going to be big for the Clas Clan, and I’m always excited to share my journey with you: good, bad, or ugly. Until then, roll easy my friends. One Team, One Family! ~Doc