It isn’t masculine to be filled with rage. The closer he comes to a peaceful mind the greater his strength shall be.” ~Marcus Aurelius
“No bad days” … this is not to be understood as a means to suppress emotion and further degrade your mental health. This is to remind us all that we have the control over our reactions to the things thrown at us in this world. We are going to have struggles at home, work, school, and any other place we try to cultivate a niche for ourselves to make ourselves better than we were the day before. These past few weeks have been remarkable in both experience as well as key life lessons.
Honor the Past
There is no better way to reinforce pride in service than going to hallowed ground to honor service members of the past who made significant contributions for the betterment of our country. I had the opportunity to go to Normandy, France to support the annual D-Day commemoration activities for the 79th anniversary of the beginning to the end of World War II. One of my fondest memories of this experience was being able to share space with a living legend, Joe Landry, who served a critical role during the Battle of the Bulge in 1944.
The battle saw roughly 75,000 American casualties, while the German forces lost between 80,000 to 100,000.” ~U.S. Army Center of Military History
When you look at how hard your day is going it’s important to think about the sacrifices other people have made in the past. It could be family, friends, or other individuals that have made an impact on your life. No matter how much I want to pound the keyboard I can easily think about a large number of individuals I look up to that have overcome worse problems in their time. It’s not a a game of comparison, but a way to shape your perspective to know you can overcome your circumstances as well.
Slap, Bump, Tap, Repeat
Overcoming hardship is not an easy task. That’s why I encourage everyone to find a competitive hobby to practice the art of finding comfort in discomfort. Marathoners run hundreds of miles to prepare for their next race and other athletes go through training regimens that would break someone who came in fresh off the street. Military members also go through a significant amount of training and crucibles to ensure they are ready to defeat an enemy threat if necessary. The repetition and consistency are the key ingredients to success. The hours of hard work invested each day are the moments that get you closer to your goal when it matters.
I have actively practiced Brazilian Jiu-jitsu for nearly nine years. It’s a humbling combat sport that never lets you settle. It never fails, the longer you practice the more you find how little you know about the art itself. However, when you show up to practice and leave it all on the mat you walk away stronger mentally than you were when you arrived. It’s also important to find ways to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. To find ways to find focus and practice self-control. Iron sharpens iron and testing your abilities consistently will afford you reps to let your inner beast out and practice putting it back in the cage.
Being a civilized monster is better than being harmless. And that should be the goal. To have the capacity to stand up for yourself and to say no when you need to.” ~Dr. Jordan Peterson
Patience is a Virtue
Self-control is an important in a professional setting, but even more critical as a parent. I have started a new battle-rhythm event with my kids this month, Sunday fishing trips. One of the most important experiences I have come to appreciate and attribute to my success was being taught how to fish by my father. Fishing exercises values of respect, work-ethic, commitment, courage, patience and gratitude.
Dominic and Brianna have been waking up at 5:30am each Sunday morning for the past three weeks, getting some snacks at the gas station, and then heading to the lake with a line in the water time of 6:30am. We fish for two hours and then head to McDonalds for post-fishing team breakfast and get ready to start the rest of our day. The growth I’ve seen in both of my kids from these short trips is truly remarkable. My oldest is reeling them in left and right and my youngest has learned what it’s like to bring a fish to shore all on her own.
As a parent, there is no better feeling than seeing your kids succeed in a new hobby or sport. However, teaching my kids to fish has not been without it’s stressors. First and foremost, I had to realize the fishing experience was for my kids and not me. There was no setting up my own rig for the bigger fish, or telling them it’s dad’s turn now.
Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” ~Joyce Meyer
The experience was all about getting my kids the exposure necessary to understand the process and appreciate the fish they caught. Respect is the biggest value of the game. Understanding how to be considerate to the fish they catch, to appreciate the experience when they walk away empty handed, and to wish the best of luck to others around the lake searching for the same outcome. These are the most formative years with my children and I have to take advantage every chance I get to set them up for future success, whatever it may be.
I do this for a Living
Another day, another dollar, but unlike most organization’s mine requires me to parachute out of different types of air frames from time to time. I’m not going to lie, I have been scared every time I jumped, but the return on investment has been better than I expected. It’s the best form of camaraderie I’ve had that compares to competing with a team in contact sports. There is a theory that supports extreme sports helps individuals manage stress and overcome depression due to the dopamine released after the extreme activity is conducted.
Your mind is like a parachute: if it isn’t open, it doesn’t work.” ~Buzz Aldrin
During my recent jump, it was easy to see everyone present in the moment. The only thing that could have made it better was if someone brought out a grill and some cold ones. Even recent work strains that have caused heartache and tension weren’t even a minor distraction on jump day. It’s as if during that window of time the only thing that matters is safely exiting the aircraft and landing with hope that your fellow paratroopers do the same. After the jump is complete, it’s smiles and “I see you, Brah” head nods for all.
So to sum up my last few weeks, it’s been a dead sprint. The pace is fast and when I stop to breathe I feel like I’ve time traveled to the next month. I truly appreciate the memories I incur wearing this uniform and I am grateful a lot of my experience has helped me be a better father and husband for my family. I couldn’t imagine a better version of my life and for that I am especially grateful. Live easy my friends. One Team, One Family! ~Doc
Cover Photo: Paratroopers gather at La Fière in Normandy, France on June 6, 2023 to honor the paratroopers who jumped in during World War II to liberate France. (Photo by Jonathan Hornby)